Reasons why Lewis should heed the Chinese calender

Posted: 07/06/2010 in Formula 1

Now your probably wondering; “what the hell has Formula 1 got to do with the chinese calendar?” Well I’ll gladly enlighten you…

Apon watching a few small clips of the Turkish Grand Prix while I was at Brands Hatch, I saw the stunt Jenson pulled on Lewis towards the end. It was no surprise to me since Jenson is not afraid to take opportunities when they come up, and is in fact probably one of the smartest drivers on the grid. Now before you go “he is a play boy and talks out of his backside” rewind back to the time when both Jenson and Lewis each went on top gear to do those timed laps.

Jenson on Top Gear:

Lewis on top gear:

Now what was different about those videos, apart from Lewis being faster? Nothing you say…well I heard differently. When hearing Jeremy Clarkson say that F1 drivers don’t take the stigs line around the track Lewis said nothing afterwards, while Jenson gave the smartest response in Top Gear History, “Oh really, well he’s obviously not a Formula 1 driver then.” Now for this I make Jenson the Rat on the Chinese calendar and Lewis the Cat.

Bare with me people, this will almost make sense towards then end…

In formula 1 language I will combine the Chinese calendar to the F1 calendar, somehow.

Drivers as the animals:

Jenson: The Rat, You are honest, funny, and talkative but you also tend to be greedy, petty, and selfish. You know how to take advantage of a situation. You are a collector by nature and probably the only ones awake when the rest of the world is asleep.

Vettel: The Ox, You are usually patient, dependable, and hard-working. Sometimes, you tend to be slow, stubborn and resistant to change. The Ox is most happy when left alone.

Alonso: The Tiger, You are known for your courage, generosity, and passion. Being authoritative and a risk-taker, you make a good leader. Think carefully before you act because your brash and stubborn character can offend others.

Webber: The Rabbit, Rabbits are the luckiest animals of all. You are gentle, talented, friendly and very popular. With your cautious nature, you can be successful in anything you do. But don’t let get head grow too big!

Schumacher: The Dragon, Unique, energetic, and overly dramatic you are blessed with good health and luck. On the other hand, you tend to be unbearably moody and a perfectionist.

Rosberg: The Snake, You are blessed with both beauty and brains which makes you both talented and a wise decision-maker. But sometimes you care too much about your looks and can be selfish and lazy.

Rubens: The Horse, People like you for your cheerfulness, wisdom and sincerity. With your positive outlook on life, people like you. You like to be alone and tend to be impatient with others.

I’m going to stop here since you get the general idea…

Anyway the story goes that the animals had to cross a river to the Jade temple to which whoever crossed first would get to be the first animal on the calendar blah, blah. Anyway both the Rat (Jenson) and the Cat (Lewis) got to the river first, but the Ox (Vettel) who had poor eyesight got assistance from both the Cat and the Rat to cross the river, both jumped onto the Ox’s back and went across the river.

The Ox did all the work in the river, with both the Cat and the Rat guiding him all the way until the end. The Rat knew he couldn’t beat the Cat in a sprint to the temple, so he decided to push the Cat off the Ox, in which the Cat would be swept away by the current. When getting to dry land the Ox was tired from the swimming, but the rat who did nothing the whole way had all the energy to run to the temple and got the 1st place aka the WDC…

While the other animals crossed the line in order the Cat (Lewis) came last, then becoming enemies forever with the Rat (Jenson).

Now I’m not trying to say Jenson is going to do a “Schumacher” move on Lewis or that Jenson is a Rat in general, it’s just that I can see Jenson doing one over Lewis and Vettel towards the end since he is still within touching distance of it again.

Crazy? meh… your probably right.

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